A Day in the Life of a Mom of Two under Two

These days are the best days. People always say that to me. "You'll look back on these days and they will be the best days of your life". I have a hard time NOT believing that because.. I am LOVING it. And, I'm tired.

Bryn will be 2 in two weeks. Stop it. How did that even happen?? And Vivian is 10 months. The holidays are coming, which means I'll be non stop doing ALL the fun things holidays have to offer (and picking up extra shifts at work to fund all my holiday fun things). Our anniversary, Bryn's birthday, Christmas and then Vivi's birthday.. all within about 5 weeks. Sounds expensive and busy, right? 

I figure now is as good of time as ever to document what my days look like right now because in two months when things settle down, it'll all look different. 

As of now, I'm working every Thursday through Saturday night. So my week looks like this:

Monday- Home all day with babies

Tuesday- Home all day with babies

Wednesday- Home all day with babies

Thursday- Home all day with babies (except on this day, I nap when they nap and leave for work when Jake gets home)

Friday- Jake takes the girls to daycare, I sleep, I pick them up, and then when Jake gets home, I go to work. 

Saturday- Jake takes the girls to the YMCA while I sleep, I wake up around 230-3 to play with them, then head to work. 

Sunday- The girls hang with Jake, usually out doing something until noon or 1 when I wake up and my stent of days off begins! Usually this is the day we do something with friends or family.

It's busy, but it's the perfect schedule for us right now! Jake is obviously a huge help and never complains. He's pretty cool. 

So those "Home all day with babies" days are the days I will describe. I feel really lucky to have a job that makes it feel like I stay at home full time with the girls, but I'm also working full time. Best of both worlds. I seriously LOVE nursing. But that's besides the point. 

Our day usually starts around 6am. Bryn yells out "mommmyyyy, mommyyyy" and sings a little song (Eeee iiii eee iii eee iii oooohh). If she's crying when she wakes up, I let her stay in there a little longer. Waking up crying= a bad morning. Waking up singing= a good morning. We have way more good mornings than bad. 

Vivi usually wakes up around the same time or about 15 minutes later. Diapers changed. I usually put their day clothes on right away and make breakfast. 

Bryn usually eats toast and yogurt or a nutrigrain bar. Vivi eats a nutrigrain bar or pancakes and then a bottle.

Around 630- 645, Jake gets home from the gym. The girls watch Mickey Mouse or Little Einsteins. (And lately, Bryn has been requesting "Ho Ho" shows.. how did she even know?!) While he showers and gets ready, I listen to music, make coffee, light candles (I'm a smell FREAK), unload/load the dishwasher, and make breakfast.  Toast, turkey bacon, avocado and egg. The only thing that changes is whether or not I have turkey bacon and/or avocado. Today, we had toast and eggs Haha! Someone needs to hit the grocery! 

Jakes heads off to work around 730. Bryn always tells him "Go make da monnneyyyy!". I clean up the house for about 30 minutes. My house is always 30 minutes from looking clean. Doesn't mean it's actually clean. But it can LOOK clean, hehehe! In fact, I think I need to clean the bathrooms today because I can't remember the last time I did. Yikes.

For the most part, on my days off, I go to the YMCA. When it's nice out, we walk. It's only a half mile or less from my house. I take the girls to the daycare and do one of the classes. There is always an hour class I like usually at 835 or 935. After the class, again if it's nice, we go to the park which is between the YMCA and our house. Since it's starting to get colder, I'll be in the "family gym" more. They have it set up like a little gymnastics room. It'll be a good area for the girls to get energy out. 

** Some days we just lay around in the morning. Clean a little, play a lot, do some refereeing between the girls, color, craft, take walks, play outside, play dates. Our morning varies. But MOSTLY, I do the gym.

By the time we get back to our house from the Y, it's about 11- 1130 and time for lunch! Bryn was never picky and ate everything in front of her until recently. Now, whatever I can get her to eat is just fine with me. Vivi has a really cool habit of throwing every other bite onto the floor. Lunch is.. messy. 

Around noon, I lay the girls down for a nap. They both usually talk to themselves for 20 minutes and then go to sleep. Neither of them really fight me on it. Bryn even requests "night night" time sometimes. 

Jake comes home around 1230 for lunch. Watches Sports Center, updates me on his day, and vice versa, then heads back. Then, for a glorious hour, it is MY time. Sometimes, I deep clean the things I can't do while the girls are up. Sometimes I nap. Sometimes I sit and watch tv. Sometimes I shower and make myself look human. Yesterday, I crafted. Just depends on my mood. But on Thursdays, I always nap because it's my only sleep during a 26 hour period. 

The girls wake up around 230. We usually stick around the house in the afternnoons unless I need to go to the grocery. We clean up from the morning activities, do a lot of playing, crafting, play outside, go for walks.. whatever. Nothing too crazy. The girls are usually pretty calm right after their nap and will let me Pinterest, read, make dinner, etc. 

Jake gets home around 5:30. Ahhhh. My favorite time of day. :-) We eat dinner all together... forabout 5 minutes before Bryn deems herself "allllll done" after eating 3 bites. The dinner struggle is REAL. Jake and I attempt to update each other on our afternoons, but it's usually interrupted by "Daddy, read!", "Daddy, dance!", "Daddy, SING!".. or crying. Bryn is manic around Jake, She thinks he is her personal dancing monkey.. and he pretty much is. 

After dinner is bath time, and whoever isn't bathing the girls does the dinner dishes. Post bath is PJ, reading and snuggling time. We read a LOT of books. Like, a lot. Bryn is obsessed. 

The girls go to bed around 7:30. We LOVE their early bedtime because we still get to watch a few shows together, have some quiet time and relax. We always have "our shows" and then our individual shows. We are currently watching The Walking Dead, The Blacklist, Heroes, and The Voice (even though we are like 7 episodes behind). 

Bedtime comes around 930 or 10. Vivi still wakes up once at night on most nights, mer. Aaaaand... that's our days!

So simple, right?! It really isn't bad! I always say that overall, I have really awesome days. Some moments are rough, but I don't have a lot of overall BAD days.

I'm sure things our schedule will change as the weather does and as the holidays come.. and as Vivi begins to WALK. Yikes.

<3<3 Ashley

Quiet Time

Writing this is NOT because I am in the business of giving out parenting advice because LORD KNOWS I need as much advice as I can get. Trial and error is a Miller family favorite. Lots of errors in parenting. Plus, everything that worked for Bryn, doesn't work for Vivian.

But!!!! THIS might be the most brilliant thing I've implemented in my home. I'm home with the girls Tuesday- Friday all day. It's Heaven. Except, it's not always. Hehe. I am a mom. I am a wife. But I am STILL Ashley. I still have to have ME time. And if I don't take a mental break from my girls, I get a little crazy. I'm a better and more patient mom with a little down time. I used to think I needed to be on mom duty sun up until sun down. I would feel guilty to do ANYTHING that didn't involve my girls. And I always was entertaining them. I was EXHAUSTED. 

About a month ago, I implemented "quiet time". Vivi takes a morning nap from 9am- 945. But Bryn and I would still be playing, reading, etc. I decided to start putting her in her room to play independently during that time so I could clean, read, or JUST SIT and watch tv. 

At first, she wasn't a fan. But honestly, it was a super easy transition. She cried the first day maybe 5 minutes? Then played the rest of the time. Now, she cries for about 3 seconds and gets over it and plays hard the rest of the time. 

Check out that baby playing all alone. This picture cracks me up because I put it in selfie mode and reached around the corner so she wouldn't see me. See the shadow of my arm? I'm so sneaky.. and probably slightly crazy. 

The grocery bags are individual quiet time activities.. puzzles, coloring, legs, etc. Eventually, they will make it into individual containers. Someday. Hehe

SO, there it is. My most brilliant and sanity saving idea yet. 

And then this might be a close second..

Vivi can sit, but still isn't awesome at it. And definitely not well enough to sit in a slippery tub. Now, my babies get to play together. SO CUTE. Ps.. how different are their complexions? Love it. 

<3 

I'm Back!

I've taken a hiatus since beginning of May. Mostly out of being completely crazy busy, but I'll blame it on my computer breaking. My husband bought us a new one this past weekend, so I'm ready to get up and running again. That guy. I could've gone a million times to get a new computer, but the idea of taking 2 kids into a store and trying to find a computer that met our needs was completely overwhelming. But my guy?? He had no fear. Off he went with both girls while I slept after working my night shift and he came back with a computer. SO, HERE I AM!

What has changed since the beginning of May? Too much for one post. But in a nutshell, everything. ;-)

I'm working weekend nights and loving my job (most nights). Jake got a promotion at work and will be a huge part in the expansion of his company in 2016. Bryn is talking big time and being the best big sister ever. Seriously, she is so rough and tough.. but so sweet with Vivi. Vivian is babbling a lot, can mock everything we do, sits, scoots and is very close to crawling. Big stuff, people.

The girls go to the same daycare one day a week and I just love it. Bryn just thrives in those situations and I love the girls being socialized.

Jake and I have been on a healthy journey. He has had some great results. He is also a lot more dedicated to the working out portion of it (5am workouts? No, thank you). I do a lot of walking with the girls, and a few home workouts but I'm not as dedicated as I should be. I'll get there. I have really loved the knowledge part of losing weight. You really do have to be smart to lose weight the right way. I have really worked on educating myself and I have a good sense of cooking and eating healthy.


So, this is what we were looking like around April-May...

Yikes, Ashley. You were looking like you just had two babies back-to-back..

And a few weeks ago on vacation...

Not perfect, but BETTER! :-) I'm pretty happy with my progress. It's slow, but it's also a life change.. not just a "diet" for me. Seeing sick patients all the time in the hospital makes me anxious to grow old.. so I want to make healthy decisions now, and keep with it.

Ps.. the florals distract from my stubborn belly fat. Which is why I'm also wearing it here..

And here I am with the girls just last week :-)

My babies looked like back in May (when I stopped blogging)..

And now..

Time is going WAY TOO FAST!!!! These girls are growing like weeds. Their hard enough that I don't want to think about another baby anytime soon, but fun and sweet enough to know Vivi isn't my last. :-)

Til next time, friends!

My "changed" relationship

Recently, I went back to work. And I. AM. LOVING. IT. I love the extra income.. I love feeling competent in something other than changing diapers.. and I am LOVING the social aspect of it. It's my adult time. But, with that.. comes the real world. I hear about other people's relationships.. good.. and bad.

I talked with a patient who was an attorney. A divorce attorney. And the biggest reason she saw divorces? The spouse "changed". I didn't say much at the time. I continued to listen, but that statement really struck a chord. It's resonated over the past couple weeks and weighed heavy on my heart. I feel very comfortable in my marriage. 92% of the time, Jake and I are best buddies. We joke, we have fun, we are pretty much always on the same page with parenting.. and we just enjoy each other.

 Then, Jake and I had a day that we just hated each other. I'm serious. We both woke up on the wrong side of the bed.. the babies were very trying that day.. and we just couldn't stop being mean to each other. I said he does "NOTHING" around the house to help me (untrue).. he said I do the laundry wrong (Okay, I do).. etc. etc. We were relentless. I'm pretty sure it's normal. I don't think I've ever talked to an honest woman that didn't have stupid fights with her boyfriend or husband. I think relationships show what they are made of in the recovery of fights. We apologized, said we were just being mean.. and went to the zoo the next day. We recover well. And our marriage wasn't, nor will it ever be threatened. We've got it going on.

But, it brought me back to that conversation with the lawyer. "What did I do to bring this fight on?" "Could it be ME who has changed in this relationship?!"

And I came to the conclusion that OF FREAKING COURSE.. I've changed! And so has he! I married a human, not a barbie.. it's in our nature.

I began thinking back to this little college sophomore going to a wedding with this guy she barely knew. I hadn't even made it in the nursing program yet at WSU. I still lived at home.. and had no stress in the world (according to me now, I was very dramatic and always felt stressed). No, I am DEFINITELY not that same girl.

Then, I was SO cool and started dating that guy. He wasn't quite as arrogant as he had initially presented himself. He was sweet and very fun. I was in it for fun. We were in the same little group together and it was easy. Our relationship has really always been pretty easy. I was in the nursing program at this point and life became a little more stressful. His sister had gone through a nursing program and warned Jake that dating me wouldn't be like dating a typical college girl.. he was in for the challenge. I had changed from that easy going 19 year old. I still was a blast (of course!).. but I had to set limits. There were a lot of movie dates while I studied. But our relationship was fun!

When I was 22, we broke up for a few months. We broke up over the timeline of our relationship. I wanted to take it slow, he was 26 and ready to progress things. That time apart made me realize he WAS who I wanted.. and he was still in it. We got back together and shortly after, we were engaged. I was still in school, but I was months from finishing. Things had changed. My mindset was more serious.. I was no longer just in it for fun.. I was getting ready to graduate and saw my future ahead of me. I was DEFINITELY a changed girl.

9 months after we were engaged, we were married. We planned the wedding in 6 months (the first 3 months I was focused on graduating). If I'm being totally honest, when I look back at college... I remember my friendships, working and my clinicals. Jake was there, yes, and he was definitely one of my best buddies.. but my friendships were so important to me and completely took precedence. Up until THIS time. From the time we started planning our wedding until now.. Jake has been my BEST friend. It's funny looking back at when he proposed until now. Things are SO much better... HE is SO much better.. and he was awesome at that time, too. I loved him then.. but he has FAR exceeded any expectation I had.

But I'm jumping ahead. Jake and I completely enjoyed planning the wedding. Financially, it was stressful. But this is when our relationship became a true relationship. We hadn't lived together.. so we really hadn't had to talk money, or plan events together. Planning a wedding really shows you what you are made of.. and we were made of awesomeness. It also helped that I had graduated and wasn't stressed from school anymore.

Oh, and we got a dog. Because.. I didn't think I could love anyone more than I love myself or Jake. Then, Rosalie began to steal my attention from Jake. I contribute wanting kids quickly to this dog making my heart swell. 

We went on a cruise for a honeymoon and realized we "vacation" totally different. Listen, I need a nap. Not really in my every day life.. but on vacation.. in the sun.. and just because I DON'T do it in my every day life.. I need a nap. Jake does NOT. He is like a vacation King. So we parted ways halfway through the day. And at dinner, Jake would have multiple senior citizen friends he met while I napped. But, we had to learn that about each other.. and we were OKAY with it.

In April of 2013, we found out we were pregnant. While I was pregnant, we took two more vacations, I started a new job and we bought a house. We kicked that pregnancy's butt. I was super sweet the whole time. And Jake thought he had hit the jackpot with me prego (don't worry, I prove him SO wrong with Vivi). In this picture, we were at a Dragon's game and had JUST found out days before that we were pregnant. Do you see a glow?! We were SO excited.

We vacationed with both our families the same week that summer. Our families were staying about 15 miles from each other in Florida. It was a struggle trying to balance it. We both love each others families.. but it was trying to balance it. Really puts your relationship to the test.

 Right before we found out Bryn was a GIRL.. I ended up in the hospital. That was our first big NEGATIVE stress in our lives. We got through it with a breeze, but it was a learning experience and definitely changed things.

Bryn was born 3 days after our one year anniversary. Parenting is what changed us most. For the better. We came from two different families with two very different parenting styles. Trying to combine those into a style that works for us has proven to be a test. I struggled with weight after Bryn and insecurity. I also now had to balance being a new, working mom and a wife. I had TWO loves of my life. And a dog who still answered to "prettiest girl in the world". I was spread thin.. and stressed.

To add to the stress and hormones, I had miscarried a baby we were planning for.. then became pregnant immediately after with Vivian. Remember when I said I was insecure.. so now add MORE baby weight.. crazy hormones and trying to plan for a new baby when my baby was only 4 months old. Think that will change ya? Uh... yeah. I was crazy town.

Last picture of a family of 3 (just 2 short years after being married).

So here we are, a family of 4. A 29 year old dad with a great job supporting us, a 25 year old working mom with supplemental income, a 17 month old and 4 month old. And we have two dogs. And a house. And a new car. And bills. And yard work. And laundry. And two families to balance. And lots of friends nearby. And these parents are working on getting healthy (and I get frustrated 75% of the time). Oh, and a marriage that always needs work because.. GREAT marriages take GREAT work.

We have been together 6 years and EVERY.THING has changed. So, yes... I've changed. Wives change. Husbands change. We are human. Jake and I have had an insane 3 years. Like, this time 3 years ago.. we were engaged. But.. things don't calm down from here. In the future, we will talk about when/if we want a third baby... we will have 2 toddlers.. we will have girl teenagers.. we will have to find the patience to teach the kids to drive.. figure out college.. be empty nesters.. all while life is still happening.

If CHANGE is a reason to divorce.. you should've never gotten married in the first place.. because the girl Jake met 6 years ago.. is LONG gone. And the woman or man you married is NOT the same person you initially married. And I think it is something to embrace.. not fight over.

Even though every single thing has changed.. I still wouldn't change a single thing or take back a single moment with this guy. Our fights show us what we are made of.. and we are made of that forever-kinda-love.

My Groundhog Day

It has been awhile since I've gotten the chance to blog. Life has been CRAZY. I started my new job.. yay! Feels good to be working again. I love being a mommy.. but I'm a better mom when I'm doing something for myself.. and I LOVE what I do.
Check out my cuties lately..

Last week I had orientation in a classroom setting. And although the organization put on a really motivating and education orientation.. it doesn't change the fact that I had to sit 8 hours a day for 5 days straight. That's more draining to me than chasing babies all day. My mom was on Spring Break.. so she watched the girls all week and loved it. They looked like they enjoyed themselves, too..

So after a whole week of work, I was ready for a weekend with my family.. and just my little family. I am well aware that many moms out there are rockstars and are able to work all week.. make dinner.. do laundry.. bathe kids AND enjoy them. I am not one of them. I couldn't balance it all. I felt like I had a strictly business relationship with them and couldn't play with them. My girls also go to bed at like 7:30 (we've totally tried to make it later but.. they don't like it) so I have a small window of time with them.


That crazy week led to one of my favorite weekends EVER!!!! Saturday is my official Groundhog Day to this date.. I would relive that day OVER and OVER and OVER.

We woke up at 5:30 (well, the girls woke us up.. haha). We made them breakfast.. made our breakfast.. and drank our coffee while the girls hung out.

The girls played with Jake while I went to the grocery. The ONLY change I would make to my day would be that I got a Starbucks while I was there. I didn't because I had already had my morning coffee.. but.. I regret it.. still. Ya'll.. there is something about grocery shopping these days.. I just LOVE it. I look forward to it so much. I'm weird and aware of it.

When I got home, we put away groceries. Cleaned up around the house a bit.. and played with the girls. They went down for a nap.. Jake and I went down into the basement to do our P90X together. If you have the opportunity to work out with your husband.. DO it. Especially things like P90X where some of the moves are so ridiculous.. we laugh so hard.. and push each other. It's one of my favorite things to do with him. I had missed the previous days work out so when we were done, I did my missed work out.

When I was done, Vivi was up but Jake was taking care of her. So.. I got to shower.. put on make up.. AND blow dry my hair. What?! That never happens! Heaven!

Bryn woke up from her nap shortly after and we went for a long walk to a park. It wasn't the closest park to us.. but we wanted to get a good walk in. And it was perfect outside. 70.. no clouds in the sky. Ah! We played at the park but it was really busy and a little difficult to watch our wild child.

Bryn loved it. She LOVES going down slides. She gets so smiley and says "ready, set, GOOOOO". So cute. I lied when I said the only thing I was missing was Starbucks.. the only OTHER thing I would change about this day would be Vivi's age. Don't get me wrong.. the girl is FUN. But on days like THIS one.. I wish she could run around and interact more with Bryn and us. We will repeat this day in a year! ;-)

On the way back, Jake said "this is your favorite day, isn't it?". He just KNOWS what makes me happy.. a simple day of doing things with my family.
He thought our cups were funny. "His" water and "her" spark.

When we got home.. it was already 4pm. We had chicken marinating so we lit the grill and had a little cookout. We opened up the windows and enjoyed an early dinner.

We played with the girls a little more.. and they went to bed around 7:30. Jake and I watched a move and hit the hay.

I am NOT a complicated girl. THAT was a simple and perfect day. The kind of day that maybe wouldn't stick out because it's the kind of thing I do all the time.. but.. it doesn't always flow so well. Not everything falls into place. The weather changes.. Jake's at work.. Bryn or Vivi is fussy.. I don't get to work out.. or if I do.. I don't get to shower.. There are SO many variables.. and it is usually impossible for it to all work out. But.. on THAT day.. it did. And it was perfect.

I love my little family!!!