Good News, finally!!!

Friday we had the day from hell. But somehow, my Vivian came out of it smiling and saying "Mommy, I laughing!" (Her new favorite line). She's amazing.

My dad decided to come with me for Vivian's appointments. I thought it was just because it was a long day, but now I'm realizing it was because he and my mom were afraid I would get bad news. Bad news after a long day and then driving home their sweet grandchild in rush hour traffic didn't sound like a good idea to them. Haha!

First, we had an ultrasound of Vivi's bladder and kidneys. She has a hard time laying flat, and she hates anything medical.. so this was the beginning of many breakdowns. Luckily, my kid recovers quick.

Then, we had a catheter placed in her urethra and rectum to measure the pressures, how much her bladder can hold and if she will empty her bladder when it's full.. and if she will empty it completely. Hell. She kept saying "mama.. mama.. mama!!" and crying. So I basically just laid my whole body over her upper body to shield her.. and to hide my tears. Her bladder held twice the amount they expected before she emptied. However, she was also screaming.. and has never had to urinate with a catheter in.. with people staring at her. In my book, she's normal. (The doctor agreed).

Then, we left in the catheter to go to xray. They filled her bladder with contrast, and then watched as she emptied it. Screaming. Again, body shield. This time she didn't empty completely. But the doctor said 1/2 of the tests is OK for him.

After all the tests, and a whole lot of waiting.. we met with the urologist. I really appreciated that after the testing, we were able to get the results right away. Nothing like a long day of tests, then having to go home and anticipate the call. He basically said.. she's good!! It's a good baseline. We will redo this day from hell 2-3 months after her procedure to see if there are any changes. But as of right now.. that stupid effing tumor isn't affecting my baby's bladder or bowel. Which means, it really isn't totally messing with her lower extremities.

Finally, good news. It had been a minute since the worst case scenario that I could imagine wasn't happening. Ah. Relief.. ish.


In true middle child form, Vivian hadn't been baptized. Bryn was baptized when she was about 3 months. Vivian is 2. It has been on my "to do" list for awhile. I even attended the class for her AND Aubrey to be baptized. Well, I can't have my girl go into surgery without being baptized.. so we put a rush on it and had her baptized Sunday. It was perfect. There are likely no pictures of my face because something got into me and I completely lost my mind during it. I couldn't control myself. So I covered my face with one of my kids and my thick mane the entire time. I swear I've been pretty darn strong, but that half hour wasn't one of those times.

Vivian was IN A MOOD. 'Roid rage is REAL!!!! Even her Pa (my father in law) got a look. That's unheard of. That girl loves her Pa. Luckily I am weaning her down off of them, so she is coming out of it. Those steroids turned my sweet one into a brat!!!!


My FMLA has been denied, because I took it with Aubrey back in October. So now I'm seeking out other alternatives. I carry our insurance and it doesn't make sense financially to switch to Jake's insurance. My manager has been amazing and has kept a lot of the stress of "Am I going to have a job?" away. The bummer is.. I had gotten a job in the float pool which was VERY exciting, and I would've been starting at the end of May. However, with all this happening, it is NOT the time to take a new job with new responsibilities so I had to turn it down. I would've been learning ER and ICU.. and also working with a new manager. With all the unknown, I just need a job where I am comfortable, know what I'm doing and have a manager who has my back. But, SOMEDAY! :-)

Vivian seems a little more comfortable this week and is waking up less at night. Phew! Aubrey is teething though, so I'm still up most of the night. But THAT I can handle. I can't handle my Vivi girl struggling. We have a physical tomorrow that's require for surgery. And as long as Vivi stays comfortable, I'm going to get a few days of work in over the next week to pay for our health insurance.

Today is a good day! Thank you for the continued prayers. I promise you, it's working!!! We are having WAY more good moments than bad. You all are so appreciated. Jake and I can't wait for this to be over so we can pay it forward!!!!! In the meantime, we are focused on getting our family through this small hurdle.